Advice Column | Quitting The Young Liberals Party But Keeping Your Connections — The Betoota Advocate

Advice Column | Quitting The Young Liberals Party But Keeping Your Connections — The Betoota Advocate

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | Contact

Can you imagine how scary it is to turn your back on the future leaders of Australia? To shy away from the young, reprehensible boys who will one day be the most powerful men in the country?

Well, as a former rising lieutenant in the youth wing of the Liberal Party, I know exactly what that feels like because I did it. Despite the fear and Pa-Pa’s protests, I quit the Young Liberals Party.

Wow, I think that is the first time I’ve said it out loud.

Sweet baby John Howard, I quit the Young Liberals Party!

You must think me mad. Why on earth would someone who has a clear path of nepotism right to the very top throw it all away?

It’s a good question. And I guess I can safely answer that here in this column because, let’s face it, no young liberal reads anything outside of the Murdoch press.

I guess I got fed up with the politics of it all. I got sick of the genuine inaction on climate change and the coordinated attacks by Coalition backbenchers opposed to net zero which I believe led to the Morrison government’s defeat. 

I also got sick of us being repeatedly caught out making lewd and derogatory comments about women in our online chat groups meant for election campaigning. 

But most of all, I really just wanted to go to Europe for a year and relax. Which I did. And that’s what I told the boys and they completely understood. Most of the boys really don’t want to be in the Young Liberals, they’re only there because their Pa-Pas say it’s an important networking opportunity.

Which is a fair thing to say, really. I mean, look at me. Now that I’m back from Europe, I used my Young Liberal connections to set up a lucrative private sector job on $450,000 a year, which from what Pa-Pa tells me is more than the average wage in Australia. But wow, working two days a week for it is incredibly exhausting.

At any rate, while I’ve declined the last few nepotism opportunities, I took this one because that’s how you quit the Young Liberals while keeping your connections over the long term. 

If they throw you a bone, you take it out of respect. It’s like what Pa-Pa always says, ‘you never know when the next nepotism opportunity will come along.’

Author: Stephen Bailey