Advice Column | Forget Diet And Exercise. What You Need Is More Money And Status — The Betoota Advocate


They say fit is the new rich. Poor people, that is.

But as Australia’s favourite celebrity financial nutrition and wealth creation expert, I’m here to tell you that if you want to get properly fit and live your best life, forget about diet and exercise because that’s for poor losers.

What you need is more money and status. Now I admit, if you are poor the only way to raise your status outside of getting
money is by being really good-looking through copious amounts of exercising and healthy eating. But that’s time consuming, gruelling work. And at the end of the day it will never be as status-lifting as having monetary wealth.

So forget it, you’re wasting your life trying to maintain any sort of physical health. It’s all about money and status.

With freedom-giving money and status you’ll stop being poor immediately, and once you have enough of the two, I promise you’ll never have to exercise or eat a vegetable again.

To get there, just focus on making money 24/7 and don’t worry if everything else goes to ruin. Life in the financial fast lane is an incredible journey, and one that cannot be interrupted by long runs along the beach, energy intensive gym sessions, or hours spent in the kitchen cooking nutritionally well-balanced meals.

What a waste of time.

If you have to eat, eat fast food. It’s cheap, delicious and has more calories than real foods, meaning you get more bang for your buck. Which means you’re saving money, which leads to having more money which leads to having more status.

Sure, I may not be in peak physical condition due to my corporate fat cat lifestyle, and now have what my Doctor describes as ‘the life expectancy of Clive Palmer’, but my god if I’m not rich and well respected like he is.

The good news is you don’t have to be born into money to be a corporate fat cat like me, you can just work multiple jobs until your late 50s. Then if you’ve saved correctly, and nothing else has gone wrong in your life like birthing the money-pit that
is children, you’ll have enough money and status to be treated like royalty for the few remaining healthy years of your life.

So forget diet and exercise, it’s for poor losers. Get money. Get status.

Author: Stephen Bailey