DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT
You fucked up didn’t you? You ignored your better judgement and let your dropkick mate talk you into lending them a ton of money.
You empathetic, stupid idiot. In what world did you think you’d ever get that money back? If the banks won’t lend your dropkick mate money – even though they’d make a shitload of interest on the loan – what makes you think you should?
Such a terrible choice you’ve made. What were you thinking?! Your mate’s one of the biggest dropkicks getting around. They’ve obviously got a drug problem. And it’s so awkward when you keep hassling them to pay you back, even though you actually need the money yourself now.
You’re never going to see that money again, you know that right? Not without professional help that is. Thankfully, as one of Australia’s leading finance experts who has a ton of dropkick mates high up in positions of power in corporate finance, I can help you get your money back.
Here’s the most cost-effective ways of chasing up your dropkick mate for those repayments.
STEAL THEIR SHIT: I know you don’t agree with stealing, but to get money back from a dropkick you’ve got to become a dropkick yourself. So when you’re next over at their place and they say “sorry bro can’t pay you back yet” even though they’ve just bought themselves a brand new mountain trail bike, steal their shit while their busy smoking their bong.
Take the brand new $3,500 trail bike and sell it on Gumtree for whatever you can get for it. The dropkick idiot won’t even click that it’s you who’s stealing from them.
You’re too good for that! Treat any sales as repayments on the loan. Simple. GET YOUR PSYCHO MATE INVOLVED: You’re obviously a good person if you’re willing to help out your dropkick mate in a pinch. So you’ve probably stayed loyal to. many questionable friends over the long run. Time to call in some favours then.
Contact your psycho mate who loves punch-ons and tell him to put the fear of god up your dropkick mate.
Give your psycho mate enough rope to rough up the dropkick a bit, but only if it comes to that. You’ll quickly see the repayments start flowing in.
Do this, and money will never get in the way of your friendships again.